Hope and dream
You’ll make it out of here
Your personality doesn’t fit here
You’ll find a way
It’s not all gloom and doom
There is a light
At the end of this terrible tunnel
Sales isn’t as bad as it seems
But this place is
This place is worse
Your talents will work for you
They’ll be your tools
Make them a shovel or pick
And you’ll escape
Escape to where you belong
Escape to a place that is better
You can run away from it
And tell this place to kiss your ass

Casual Friday

Jeans and a t-shirt
If it's the right day
Jeans and an oxford 
On a normal Friday 
It's a casual day 
But there is still a dress code
Boosts morale
Changes perspective 
Sell more, you're comfortable 
Dress how you would on a night out
Minus the drunk face and vomit stains
You'll be ready to leave and cope with the stress
Follow the code though
Or you'll be sent home
It's casual Friday 
A reason to celebrate

Bad Manager

You answer to me
No you can’t take lunch
What if you’re needed
Do as I say
Get here before you’re supposed to
Or you’re late
The requirements are the minimum
Forget all your other duties
Do as I say
You can’t take any breaks
You are here for the reasons I say
I will undermine you
I will use HR against you
There is nothing you can do
Other than to
Do as I say
What I told you was wrong?
You’re at fault
Period bottom line
It’s all on you
Don’t make me look bad
Do as I say
You have to remember
You answer to me


Up and down
Up and down
This system never seems to work
Log in
Running slow
Things will never get done
Click a button
Wait an hour
Pass the time
Do this instead
Stay productive
It'll be up soon
Train on this
It will help
The system might come back up
There it is
And it's slower
Get to work
Be patient
Do your job


Meeting after meeting
In boardrooms and in gyms
Sit here, listen up, take it all in
This might be important
Take this down
Here’s a pamphlet
It covers everything we’re going over
That doesn’t make this pointless
It’s so you can’t forget
Don’t read it now
What is being said is important
Managers are on their cell phones
But don’t text
Don’t miss a word
This is needed and important
It reinforces what was taught
This is for a different group
But everyone needs this
Now it’s done
Everyone can leave
But be on time for the next one
It starts very soon
It will be important too
Don’t miss a word

Call Center

Phone call after phone call
Voice mail after voice mail
Being ignored daily by strangers to never see
None of this means anything
At least not to me

Pulling inspiration from the boredom
To make the days go faster
Hours seem to drag on
As a phone rings in the ear
Maybe someone enjoys this

Weasley managers
Popping into sight
Stuck in their traditions
That don’t work anymore
Afraid to change with the time

Work more hours
Listen to more phones
Continue redundant practices
Until something clicks

Break from the system
Make something work
Until the last day
Look back and think “Fuck ’em”
Live finally free

Your 20s Experience

Broken promises and stressed nights
Clenched jaws and greying hair
Getting older is no fun
Free time that was there is severely missed

Waking up tired
Cold and alone
The coffee is always there
Warm and with a black tone

Enjoy your youth
Go out and experience life
With money you don’t have
Because you need to pay rent

Watch others succeed and feel like you’ve failed
Work tirelessly at jobs that kill you
To feel like you’re going somewhere

Nobody is hiring
Where you want to be
Hard to go out an make it happen
When you’ll end up with less money

Burnt at Both Ends

There they go
There they went
Who knew
Life was like a candlestick

Bright and vibrant when awake
Dark when rest time comes
Changing shape with each passing day
Getting worn out
By the people who use you to light their way

They’ll be greedy
Burning you as much as they like
They’re not evil or bad
Just misguided and maybe sad

They aren’t good for you though
You have your own path to light
Don’t let the burnt out tell you it’s right
Burn more slowly

Do it with a smile
So that your flame shines
To light your way
Not wearing you out

The Office Suffering Series Introduction

I am going to be posting a collection of poems here inspired by my suffering in a Call Center. I don’t want anyone to misconstrue this as me putting down call center employees but rather I want to share my perspective on the culture of high stress sales jobs. I will be posting them in a chronological order of sorts as they more or less build on each other, going from a standard AB format to a more free form as the suffering continues and more grievances need to be aired.

I hope you all enjoy them and can appreciate what it is like to have the heart of a freelancer and be trapped in a 9-5 that doesn’t respect you as a person.